...and September as well
I'm starting to wonder about the idea of even recalling the adventures of this summer, or to start anew. Sure, there were calamities, adventures, discoveries, pain, a lack of time, many miles put on the car, the death of mine (1993 Plymouth Colt, she served me well), insane cats, the Rediscovery of Cable, High-Speed Internet, and Unlimited Long-Distance (I'm now only a semi-hermit now, having gotten in touch with some very old friends)... but does it really need to be brought up?

...and then I realized, "Hey, I've got an already-written e-mail that discussed most of these points, and with five minutes of reworking could easily sum up." So prepare for the summation of the agony and the ecstasy of last summer, and to which if you already received it via e-mail and have a complaint about the lack on originality (Yes, you Adam) I say to you:

*Raspberry*

New news in 15 minutes. News I've been dying to share...

Friends, family, and people I generally don't loath:

Firstly, you are simply too large a bunch of people. Frankly, I didn't think I *knew* this many people, let alone be able to call you "friends". In the interests of compressing future e-mails, I suggest that people on this list start dating each other.

...wait, I've done the whole "set-up" thing in the past. Brian M., sorry about those six months back in 1996. ;-)

Well, it's been quite a while since I had any news big enough to send out via a mass e-mail, and this certainly counts as such. After three years (the last of which had me holding onto my sanity by a thread) troisbalances and I have escaped... err, "moved" from Kentucky to Akron, OH where she'll be starting her doctorate in Psychology.

If you're getting this you know me well enough to have heard me bitch about living in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rednecks. I can now say that "COPS", while based on stereotypes, is based on stereotypes firmly rooted in reality: i.e. the "I luuuvv you!!!" domestic violence scene, which were our neighbors on a monthly basis. Add to that a move up that involved the moving truck blowing an inside tire and thus being 3 hours behind us as well as Kitty Valium (TM) not working and a consistent stream of "merp... merp... merp" and you can imagine the language coming out of our mouths through Eastern Kentucky and West "Fuckin'" Virginia.

However, 3 weeks in Akron has managed to push all of that to the dark recesses of my memory. It's a great "Little City/Large Town" with plenty to do, see, eat, etc. within a 15 minute drive and very close to a great deal of others, as opposed to the 45 minutes simply to drive to Lexington, the closest version of civilization down there. Add to that a vastly improved living space with about 250 square feet more living space, a heated pool, actual *cable* and high-speed Internet, and non-arrested neighbors all for *less* money per square foot and if you guessed "Ian is squealing like a schoolgirl" you're right on the money.

The waiting paid off...

The Good

1. Watching troisbalances get hooded for her Master of Science degree. Lord knows she worked various body parts off for it.


2. Seeing Fishbone for $4 in bar tips thanks to the wonder of free street team tickets and drink coupons.


3. Discovering Malibu Rum & OJ at said show.


4. My Grandparents. More about that later, and in private.


5. Getting the apartment at the top of our list.

1. The ability in which Rael can resist Kitty Valium (TM) and utter a stream of "merp...merp...merp..." for six hours straight.


2. The moving truck blowing an inside tire that was too small to begin with, causing a three hour delay between us and them.


3. Our Government the last few weeks. I'm calling a do-over.</i>

1. The shifting of all our stuff during said blow-out. Luckily we lost only a few minor things (cheap bookshelves, etc) but it certainly wasn't a pretty sight upon the opening of that back door.


2. scarred2112 and troisbalances on a raft during our "vacation". Note the idea of rafting in the abstract isn't ugly, it's when we're informed that it's not a leisurely drift but EXTREME CLASS 3-5 RAPIDS!!!11!! that the ugliness emerges. Namely in my language, her muscles, and my immobile back for 3 days. This confirms I'm a fruity drink kinda guy in terms of relaxation.


3. The fact that 45 days after moving out, we still haven't received out Pet Deposit back.