You motherfuckers, you'll sing someday...

Wow, time flies...

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:18:56 GMT

3 years and 1 day to say goodbye. Needless to say, I'm abandoning LJ and its longform blog-type posting for several reasons:

* I've severely curtailed my online time and relocated it to other endeavors, naming improving my l33t ski11z (holla 2003!) on the bass (which I'm happy to say has indeed improved by leaps and bounds. Now hire me, damn it), attempting to keep on a workout schedule and eating better (I'm now like Michael Weston in that 50% of my daily intake is in the form of low-fat yogurt), and managed to hyper-extend both my knees and ankles in the space of 10 days) and practicing being in pain (which also has improved by leaps and bounds, and that I'd like to turn into an Olympic Sport/Paying Occupation ;-)

* After leaving Kentucky for the haven that is Akron, it's obvious that my posts slowly declined and faded to nothingness in less than a year. In retrospect, I was at my best in terms of writing when my life was confused, painful, and honestly pretty damn unhappy. Being happy (certainly not in every way, but in far more in both ways and amount of time) has a certain method of dragging the muse from you, and I've simply had little to write about. I always wanted to write about "something", and posting "The Venture Brothers is MADE OF WIN" isn't exactly my idea of a strong literary idea in this format.

* However, that doesn't mean I'm abandoning the friendships that I've gained from LJ, that I hope are still out there, and that this post might wake up: I'm simply moving it to another forum. Yes, Sports Fans, you can now reach me @ http://twitter.com/ianperge. To set a few ground rules and answer the thought-of questions, yes - I'm moving to where the Cool Kids now are. Deal with it - I believe that the shortpost nature of the format will allow me to keep up as well as inform all of what I'm up to without it feeling like a chore to me, shouting "You'll get nothing and like it!" at the screen and shutting down my laptop, which has pretty much been the past 3+ years. Yes, this means the end of multiple pages of the oddities of My Life and Stories From Within: As I stated above, the nature of my current life doesn't allow for a great deal of those that I feel are worthy of a public forum. And http://twitter.com/ianperge is a Social Experiment/work-in-progress - I'm still not sure how I'll feel about going back to even a semi-online life, and reserve the right to halt it at any time I see fit (I actually had those rights without mentioning them to you, but Cher and Cher alike...). And to any-and-all that have seen fit to e-mail me in the past 3 years, my sincere apologies: I think I had a stroke in the area of the brain that controls timely responses. I'm wading through my cramped in-boxes, and will get back to you asap. Or you could simply e-mail me again with the heading "douchebag" as the subject...

So come see me on the Other Side. The posts will be shorter, but I believe you'll get a better sense of who I currently am as opposed to the Nothingness that has been this for the past 1097 days.

It's been,
~I

Edit: Fine, I'll answer comments in this post but this post only! Jeebus, people - I've got painkillers to take, "House" to watch, and thus a vicious circle begins... ;-)

F*ck James Blunt up his lilly-white a**

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 17:28:03 GMT

Blunt goes back on his word, screws the nicest guy in music.

That's it. You can hijack our airplanes and crash them into skyscrapers. You can start a "War on Terror" using false info. You can send a generation of mainly lower-class kids off to a war/peacekeeping effort they're not trained to do. You can have Big Business controlling our Government, you can poison the environment, you can deny an entire generation healthcare, and you can create disposable pop music such as James Blunt has.

...but you do not mess with Weird Al, dammit!

Download You're Pitiful, tell James Blunt to grow a backbone and the record industry to get tossed.

Music soothes the savag... well, fairly passive Ian

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 05:18:25 GMT

Nine Inch Nails. Bauhaus. Seats in Row 16...

It's going to take a few days to recover from the intensity of this one.

As I inch closer to The Now...

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 07:15:08 GMT

...an order for two of these was placed today: a 60GB 5th Generation in Black for myself as well a 60GB refurbished 4th Generation iPod photo for troisbalances, as she cares not a wit about video playback. I care not much more, but it will be nice to be able to catch the inevitable episodes of "Battlestar Galactica" that I'll end up missing in season three…

At the very least, I now won't be stuck listening to the Adult Contemporary music piped in at Physical Therapy center I'm attending. More than the aerobic workouts, more than the maddening balancing exercises, weightwork or the inevitable horrifically painful stretching at the end of the sessions, the music was pain personified. I can stand a pulled hamstring - that simply needs alternating ice, heat, and Vicodin. There's no such easy cure for Jack Johnson.

Any recommendations as to headphones, as I've heard about the bundled set. I'd like to keep to under the price of the iPod actual, however. I've heard good things about the Shure E2c's, but the Etymotic Research's ER-6i are the proverbial Shit when it comes to fairly inexpensive sound quality and comfort. However, and pardon the pun, I'm all ears...

Anyone that can guess my engraving gets my everlasting love - here's a hint; it's been used in this journal multiple times as both a subject as well as post material, and very much fits the subject matter. What, you wanted money if you get it right?!? How do you think I paid for that above?

New Musical Terms

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 14:28:32 GMT

From the "Stickwire" (Chapman Stick) mailinglist, originally by Tom Hurd on piano-teachers@yahoo.com)

In order to keep you abreast of the ever-developing world of musical terminology, we provide herewith the latest additions to the esteemed Harvard Dictionary of Music:

Allregretto: When you're 16 measures into the piece and realize you took too fast a tempo.
Angus Dei: To play with a divinely beefy tone.
A Patella: Accompanied by knee-slapping.
Appologgiatura: A composition that you regret playing.
Approximatura: A series of notes not intended by the composer, yet played with an "I meant to do that" attitude.
Approximento: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch.
Cacophany: A composition incorporating many people with chest colds.
Coral Symphony: A large, multi-movement work from Beethoven's Caribbean Period.
Dill Piccolini: An exceedingly small wind instrument that plays only sour notes.
Fermantra: A note held over and over and over and over and...
Fermoota: A note of dubious value held for indefinite length.
Fiddler Crabs: Grumpy string players.
Flute Flies: Those tiny mosquitos that bother musicians on outdoor gigs.
Frugalhorn: A sensible and inexpensive brass instrument.
Gaul Blatter: A French horn player.
Gregorian Champ: The title bestowed upon the monk who can hold a note the longest.
Ground hog: Someone who takes control of the repeated bass line and won't let anyone else play it.
Placebo Domingo: A faux tenor.
Schmalzando: A sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band.
The Right Of Strings: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Violists.
Spritzicato: An indication to string instruments to produce a bright and bubbly sound.
Tempo Tantrum: What an elementary school orchestra is having when it's not following the conductor.
Trouble Clef: Any clef one can't read: e.g., alto clef for pianists.
Vesuvioso: An indication to build up to a fiery conclusion.
Vibratto: Child prodigy son of the concertmaster.

An Alphabetical Musical Meme

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 07:19:07 GMT

Borrowed from chesterisapimp:

See how many album titles you can fill in from A-Z out of your collection! And no cheating by looking at your iTunes/iPod/WinAmp/physical collection... this is a noggin-buster

"Achtung Baby", U2
"Boil That Dust Speck", Mike Keneally
"Cherry Lips CD-Single", Garbage
"The Downward Spiral", Nine Inch Nails
"Emergent", Gordian Knot
"Falling Into Infinity", Dream Theater
"Gentleman", Afghan Whigs
"Hysteria", Def Leppard
"I'm Afraid Of Americans CD-Single", David Bowie featuring Trent Reznor
"Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None", Circle Of Dust
"Kings Of Sleep", Stuart Hamm
"The Least Worst Of", Type O Negative
"Mer De Noms", A Perfect Circle
"Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret", Soft Cell
"Operation: Mindcrime", Queensryche
"Psalm 69: The Way To Succeed & The Way To Suck Eggs", Ministry
"Queen Of The Damned Original Motion Picture Soundtrack", kidneythieves
"Rhinoplasty", Primus
"The Shaming Of The True", Kevin Gilbert
"Title Of Record", Filter
"Under The Pink", Tori Amos
"View", Bryan Beller
"Wanderin' Star", Kira Small
"X", Def Leppard
"Yes, Virginia...", The Dresden Dolls
"Zoolander Original Motion Picture Soundtrack", Powerman 5000

Ouch. Just ouch

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 03:17:25 GMT

I started Physical Therapy today for the first time since my last surgery in the spring of '00 - the real "work your ass off and then have tendons stretched you never realized you had" type, not my half-assed home version of the game show.

I can't believe I have the energy/motivation to type the above. The idea that this is going to be twice weekly plus extra at home is ~~somewhat~~ damn straight frightening, but it's all for a good cause. I've had more than enough days of feeling burning acid in my muscles and then suddenly realizing, "Hey, I'm suddenly much closer to the floor than usual and it could stand to be vacuumed."

I deserve an iPod for this. I mean, everyone who works out has an iPod, right? It's Federal Law.

Clearing Up A Few Things

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 23:24:20 GMT

Regarding my new "Your music doesn't suck, it just sucks *for me*..." journal title. You know the music you love with all your heart, the music that lifts you up when you're at your lowest point, and that you can't imagine not existing?

...yeah, a good deal of people think that it sucks ass. And the same can be said about theirs, and pretty much every piece of material ever created. There's a reason why art is a subjective form, and if your skin isn't thick enough to deal with a dig now and again I suggest not discussing music in public.

This is brought on by no one in particular - I simply heard it mentioned by a friend-of-a-friend on the commentary track of his band's latest DVD release (regarding both The Dead and They Might Be Giants, if you're wondering, also which I happen to agree with) and thought it worthy of expanding on.

Go out and buy The Mike Keneally Band's latest release, Guitar Therapy Live. You won't find a more challenging yet pop-infused release this side of The Dresden Dolls, and the full-length DVD included in the "Special Edition" CD/DVD set is mind-numbing. Forget what I said above - this is the greatest music ever made and everyone should own it. ;-)

Movie Line, I Claim Thee

Wed, 31 May 2006 23:14:30 GMT

"I just had a sudden irresistible urge to fall down" - Robert Downey Jr. - Less Than Zero

The Ultimate Showdown

Tue, 30 May 2006 08:22:52 GMT

...of Ultimate Destiny!

Old Godzilla was hopping around
Tokyo City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Bat Grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal
Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile
But before it could make it back to the Batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave
And took an AK47 out from under his hat
And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and did a summersault
While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault
Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare, oooh

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown...

Angels sang out in immaculate chorus
Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones
Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain
As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne
But Chuck saw through his clever disguise
And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
With civilians looking on total awe

And the fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
Of Ultimate Destiny

Bonus points for "Snakes on the Mutherfuckin' Plane"", Optimus Prime, Scruff McGruff, Indy, the Care Bear Stare, the entire sixth verse, that even Chuck Norris couldn't defeat everyone, and the eventual winner.

One negative for Batman being taken out so easily, especially when most incarnations have him wearing some type armor. ;-) Sheer genius, and kudos to s'Adam for picking this one up on radar.

In other news, today was a wonderful day of outlet-mall shopping with troisbalances, capped perhaps by the realization of one of my longstanding dreams. No, it's not a(nother) bass, and perhaps I'll attach a photo tomorrow along with a much-more-detailed post (…and generally give you a look of Ian v2006). But don't even ask for photos of my new underwear!

...okay, go ahead and ask. It doesn't mean you'll get them ;-)

*and thank god for iTunes and the ability to download store-soundtrack music.

Why I love My Significant Other Reason Number 2,487

Thu, 18 May 2006 06:22:40 GMT

...that she'll buy me a flask from Wilson's Leather for no good reason*, simply because I want one.

Yes, I suppose this means I'm back. There have been multiple reasons, good ones, for my (lengthy) absence, but simply by typing this I'm recommitting myself to the process that is journaling on routine basis. My apologies to all that have attempted to reach me and failed (I last checked the e-mail account linked to this a few months after the beginning of my "break", well beyond the point where they deleted my e-mail due to my absence) - again, my error and if was something important which can be remembered months later, by all means resend.

Things will be explained, both good and bad incidences recalled, and future progress shown in a variety of forms. Many of these have already been written, which only the desire to be posted needed. What I will disclose in this message, is that things are good with the potential to become magnificent. I'm sure everyone's waiting with bated breath for *these*. ;-)

I've also succumb to the popularity contest that is MySpace.com, but mostly for the free full-song hosting I couldn't support otherwise... mostly.

...one question, however - does anyone know of a LJ client that supports the new Intel-based MacBook Pro laptops? Papa's got a brand new bag. :D

*This of course means several reason, one of which is that I'm been hemming and hawing for a flask for several months, despite any practical need for one. I like the notion of owning a flask much more than the realistic usage of one, methinks.

Edit: Contact at livejournalian@hotmail.com has been reactivated and should be working now.

My Friends Have Issues

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 02:55:17 GMT

...scratch that, subscriptions. Take, for example, ~~Nick~~ Nick (honestly, I've know about 12 Nicks, 17 Matts, and a googolplex of Steves. I am, however, not linking to his website for fear of his ability to blow up my PC via remote networking. He could do it, to.) Nick works in IT. It could be your IT Department, you never know. This is something Nick wrote up for Craigslist, and I break into a cold sweat before realizing I'm not Corporate Sector material. Read, laugh, and fear... and yes, he's like this in real life as well He reminds me of myself before I mellowed, and hope to dear god his newly-wedded wife is up for the challenge:

I think it might be time for those of you who work in the corporate environment to get a bit of a refresher on your IT departments unspoken rules. It seems a few of you have forgotten what it's all about. This should provide as a reminder as to the inner workings of the corporate IT world.

They are all my computers; I am only letting you borrow them. People constantly laugh at me when I say this, with no idea that I am absolutely serious. I have been given the responsibility of every computer in the office; they are all under my auspices, bar none. If I am gracious enough to give you access to one of my computers, then be nice to it. Talk to it kindly, call it a nice computer, and occasionally pat the monitor. Your computer - and your IT guy - will thank you for it. Also, this applies to printers, the network connection to the outside world, the videoconference system, and the phone system. Mine. All mine. Get it? Good.

If you are going to use my stuff, then use it properly. This means LEARN ABOUT FUCKING SPYWARE. If you absolutely HAVE to go to some site during work hours (and we'll talk about this in a minute), then make sure, when the popups start showing up, you click the little black X in the upper right hand corner. Don't click the big flashing "OK" in the middle. Don't. Whatever it is you think you should do - if it's not that little gray X in the uppermost right corner, don't do it. Don't. Just. Fucking. Don't.

We know. Yeah, that's right, we know. Every little site you've gone to. All the email that passes through your computers. All the instant message chats you have. We know. All of them. So the next time you decide you just HAVE to visit some idiotic website with a movie of two guys fucking a chicken, the next time you HAVE to spam emails to all your friends about the cute guy you hooked up with the other night and he gave you chlamydia, the next time you HAVE to talk to your ex-girlfriend about hooking up one more time behind your fiancée’s back, think twice about who might be reading that shit, and if you've pissed your IT guys off. Because we know.

Do not take advantage of us, or our toys. It's awful nice of us to provide you with a boatload of network storage space for your own private use. Oh, and incidentally, that network storage space at work? IT'S FOR WORK PURPOSES. That means take the seventeen gigabytes of mp3s from some shitty hip-hop artist that you got from some peer-to-peer and GET THEM OFF MY FUCKING NETWORK. I won't ask nicely again. And listen to some real music - hip-hop sucks. (Note: Ian does not endorse the all-encompassing "hip-hop sucks" statement)

Learn to share. Look, I realize that the computer came with Windows XP. I don't like it any more than you do. But really - that T1 we've got? It's for everyone, so you can't hog all our bandwidth by downloading the entire Fedora Core 3. Do it from home. If you want to bring it in to work and dual-boot your drive, I really don't have a problem with it. But go back to kindergarten first and realize that hoarding is a bad thing, ok? Thanks.

The computer I let you use is for your use alone. This is somewhat malleable, where if someone at work needs your machine for a minute, you can let them use it. When your fourteen year old son comes to the office with you on Saturday and you let him use one of MY computers, then bitch to me about spyware, well, I'm just gonna tell you to lick the crack of my ass and spit in a cup. Sure, I'll fix your machine, but after that you're gonna have two icons on your desktop; "Go To Work" and "Go Home", and "Go Home" won't work until 5:30. Think I can't do it? Try me.

Are you a Program Manager? Then keep your fucking hands off of my fucking computers. This is non-negotiable. You people could fuck up a free lunch. Get the fuck away from them or I will stab you in the neck with a pencil.

Are you in sales? Please see #7. You people are worse than Program Managers. Drink bleach.

Are you in Engineering? I realize that most of you have forgotten more about hardware than I will ever know. This doesn't really give you the right to attempt to overclock the PC I've let you use to Ludicrous Speed. Please use discretion. Attempting to eke out a few hundred more hertz is fine; requisitioning a Freon Cooling Unit because 3.06G just isn't fast enough is a little overkill. Trust me.

Oh, so you have a laptop of your own? Keep. It. Off. My. Network. If I catch an unknown machine anywhere on my net (please see #3), I will fuck that machine up so badly your high-school TI calculator will be a Beowulf Cluster compared to your new paperweight. Also, I don't fix home computers. Tough shit. I hope you get herpes.

If you want something from your IT Department, email is your friend. This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but still - if you need something from me, email it to me. Don't blindly call me, don't magically materialize next to my desk and sit there while I'm working on something, waiting for me to pay attention to you - email it to me. I'm not doing shit for you until I have a paper trail originating from you about it. You can follow up with a phone call, that's fine; you can come over and say, "I just shot you an email, can we discuss?" - that's fine too. If you just come over and leer at me while I'm in the middle of something, I will ignore you, and mentally give you cancer with my mind.

Anti-virus software. Look, people, it's there for a fucking reason. Don't try to shut it off, please? Can we at least agree on that? We spent a lot of money on that software so that it would be up and running all the time, and it's not really my fault if you have fifty applications open and "the anti-virus software is slowing my machine down!!" So I'll make a deal with you; if you don't shut my anti-virus software on my computers off, I won't shove an abacus straight up your ass. Ok? Good.

Following these 12 simple steps will make for a far more pleasing work environment. I guarantee it.

Thanks for reading.

(I realize I might have posted this within the last year, but fuck it - it's just that funny. "Drink Bleach"?!? ;)

Best. Pants. EVER.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 08:46:55 GMT

Two posts in to hours. Who'd have thunk it?

"We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.

And we buy leather pants."

...and I still want a pair, damnit, Even it I swear 5 lbs of water in them, even if I can't move and have to be carted around on some type of dolly, I want a pair. It's the residual rockstar wannabe in me.

With-ah Live-ah

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 07:36:45 GMT

If you get it, cool. If you don't, it's a NIN-recent album-live show gag, of which we had the extreme pleasure of attending tonight. For various reasons, mostly centered as a "gasoline on fire inside my thighs" feeling I'm going to postpone the full-blown description of the show until later... no, it's troisbalances' birthday and we'll be going out to dinner (Thai or Italian, her choice.) Okay, make that tomorr... oh, it'll happen when it happens. I'm still working on getting back in the swing of LJ-ing on a weekly basic, nevermind daily. But I'll sum up the past two weeks thusly:

I took a combined medical/family/"vacation" trip back to NY last week. It sucked merrily, due to none of the former - which is fairly surprising, given my medical/family/vacation issues I have. Yes, I said I have "vacation issues". Trust me, if you'd had been on the "Rafting Trip 'o Doom" this summer, you'd say the same.

NIN did indeed rock hardcore, hometown-style (Cleveland is as early as you can get unless you're going to count Mercer, Penn.) Very energetic compared to the Fragility shows due simply to the musical direction of the current-at-the-time albums, and I wasn't half-bad sporting the "man-skirt" as well as katytowell's genius shirt in terms of gothy fashion. It was also nice to hear Jeordie "Twiggy" White take the bull by the horns and actually play formerly synth-bass parts on an actual bass with a healthy amount of distortion. Actually, more "unhealthy" but you're at a rock concert, not getting a latte enema. I have no earthly idea where that last line came from.

Best line of the night, from troisbalances at dinner before the show: "What's the best thing about U2?..."

"They're never be known as 'The Old Coldplay'"

The Building and Release of Pressure

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:55:11 GMT

I'll let you in on a 'lil secret.

...I went crazy the past year. Not in a "smearing feces on the wall" fashion, but in a "I'm trapped in my location, not doing anything productive, and there's nothing on the horizon". Trust me, actual insanity might have been a better choice, as there was little that realistically could have been done. Except plan for the future, you see. If dreaming about it helps, perhaps working for it might be even better. So since the Spring of '04, I've been in what you'd term in Baseball a "Rebuilding Year" (and then some) in regards to my gear for when we would finally leave Mount Sterling. Wherever we would land, which was very much unknown at that point, it would have to be better then were I was then (both due to local and well as mentally) and there would be music to be played. Over the course of 18 months and purchasing, paying down debt, rinsing and repeating, the following major purchases managed to make their way into my grubby hands:

Two Yamaha RBX 775 five-string basses: Flat Silver on the right, a custom fretless Flat Blue on the left.

Ibanez RKB 900 four-string bass: I didn't "need" this, but along with the Yamahas above it was also a discontinued model, and I had an itch for a four-string bass strapped low and played pickstyle and \m/etal if needed. All I can say is the 73% off list isn't too shabby.

SWR Mini Mo' Bass Preamp with Mo' Control 2 Master Foot Controller.

QSC PLX 1602 Stereo Power Amplifier

Avatar Speakers 2x10" and 2x12" Neodymium Speaker Cabinets.

Trust me, they may look heavy, but the above totaled is still lighter than my old-school Peavey combo I used to gig with. Why it took so long to develop a taste for decent tone, I have no idea...

Lacking the immediacy of digital cameras, I have no real photos as of yet, but can give you an idea of "The Rig o' Quasi Doom" with this flowchart:

I can sound any way my heart desires. I can stun cattle at 500 meters with 300 watts through each 8 ohm cabinet. I... can't gig now that my car has bit the big one.

Shit. On to "Phase 2"*...

*Cue evil laughter

...and September as well

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:14:39 GMT

I'm starting to wonder about the idea of even recalling the adventures of this summer, or to start anew. Sure, there were calamities, adventures, discoveries, pain, a lack of time, many miles put on the car, the death of mine (1993 Plymouth Colt, she served me well), insane cats, the Rediscovery of Cable, High-Speed Internet, and Unlimited Long-Distance (I'm now only a semi-hermit now, having gotten in touch with some very old friends)... but does it really need to be brought up?

...and then I realized, "Hey, I've got an already-written e-mail that discussed most of these points, and with five minutes of reworking could easily sum up." So prepare for the summation of the agony and the ecstasy of last summer, and to which if you already received it via e-mail and have a complaint about the lack on originality (Yes, you Adam) I say to you:

*Raspberry*

New news in 15 minutes. News I've been dying to share...

Friends, family, and people I generally don't loath:

Firstly, you are simply too large a bunch of people. Frankly, I didn't think I *knew* this many people, let alone be able to call you "friends". In the interests of compressing future e-mails, I suggest that people on this list start dating each other.

...wait, I've done the whole "set-up" thing in the past. Brian M., sorry about those six months back in 1996. ;-)

Well, it's been quite a while since I had any news big enough to send out via a mass e-mail, and this certainly counts as such. After three years (the last of which had me holding onto my sanity by a thread) troisbalances and I have escaped... err, "moved" from Kentucky to Akron, OH where she'll be starting her doctorate in Psychology.

If you're getting this you know me well enough to have heard me bitch about living in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rednecks. I can now say that "COPS", while based on stereotypes, is based on stereotypes firmly rooted in reality: i.e. the "I luuuvv you!!!" domestic violence scene, which were our neighbors on a monthly basis. Add to that a move up that involved the moving truck blowing an inside tire and thus being 3 hours behind us as well as Kitty Valium (TM) not working and a consistent stream of "merp... merp... merp" and you can imagine the language coming out of our mouths through Eastern Kentucky and West "Fuckin'" Virginia.

However, 3 weeks in Akron has managed to push all of that to the dark recesses of my memory. It's a great "Little City/Large Town" with plenty to do, see, eat, etc. within a 15 minute drive and very close to a great deal of others, as opposed to the 45 minutes simply to drive to Lexington, the closest version of civilization down there. Add to that a vastly improved living space with about 250 square feet more living space, a heated pool, actual *cable* and high-speed Internet, and non-arrested neighbors all for *less* money per square foot and if you guessed "Ian is squealing like a schoolgirl" you're right on the money.

The waiting paid off...

The Good

Watching troisbalances get hooded for her Master of Science degree. Lord knows she worked various body parts off for it.

Seeing Fishbone for $4 in bar tips thanks to the wonder of free street team tickets and drink coupons.

Discovering Malibu Rum & OJ at said show.

My Grandparents. More about that later, and in private.

Getting the apartment at the top of our list.

The Bad

The ability in which Rael can resist Kitty Valium (TM) and utter a stream of "merp...merp...merp..." for six hours straight.

The moving truck blowing an inside tire that was too small to begin with, causing a three hour delay between us and them.

Our Government the last few weeks. I'm calling a do-over.</i>

The Ugly

The shifting of all our stuff during said blow-out. Luckily we lost only a few minor things (cheap bookshelves, etc) but it certainly wasn't a pretty sight upon the opening of that back door.

scarred2112 and troisbalances on a raft during our "vacation". Note the idea of rafting in the abstract isn't ugly, it's when we're informed that it's not a leisurely drift but EXTREME CLASS 3-5 RAPIDS!!!11!! that the ugliness emerges. Namely in my language, her muscles, and my immobile back for 3 days. This confirms I'm a fruity drink kinda guy in terms of relaxation.

The fact that 45 days after moving out, we still haven't received out Pet Deposit back.

Fin. I start anew...

I'll be damned if I don't post at least once in August

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 03:49:14 GMT

Jesus, and I missed the entirety of July as well. Apparently time flies when you're busy as hell.

As this post is just meant as a "restart" to my journaling after a period when it (unfortunately) needed to take a backseat to other, more time-sensitive endeavors, I won't be recapping everything that's happened during the last two months - that will come in the next week or two. All I can say for now is that it's been an absolute monster of a summer, with very little time off and far too much planning, responsibility, and mental as well as physical work involved. Long car trips within intense time periods were made, heated phone calls were exchanged, breakables taken extra care of, music gear taken even more care of, my car given a proper "goodbye" upon its non-functioning, kitties drugged for a long trip in the car, and an entire house packed up into one Ryder moving van, one minivan, and our Neon.

...but the day I'd written (and whined) about had finally come on August 6th. After almost three years which seemed like double the amount of time, countless viewings of the police at our neighbor's door to break up a "domestic dispute", far-too-many posts about the Hell that is shopping at Wal-Mart (and which I can say will never happen again) and a general malaise that settled over the last year, we finally got to do what was dreamed about for far too long:

We left. See you in Hell, Mount Sterling Kentucky, and don't let my bitterness bite your ass on the way out. No, wait. Let it. ;-)

As I said earlier I'll be recapping as best I can all the experiences that led up to that day and passed it to where we are now (to my credit, I did take notes and did some writing, even though I was far too exhausted at the end of each day to polish for publication) but I can report that we're quite happily 90% settled in our new apartment where we got a tremendous deal and are ending up paying less per square foot than in Kentucky. It's freshly painted, carpeted, larger, has more closet space, and is even *quieter* compared to the old house even with people on 4 sides as opposed to just one (again, the lack of police activity helps.) The management was helpful when problems arose, which is a post unto itself, and has been great since then. There's a heated pool for me to stretch/work out in, and believe me it's been getting used.

The city itself is wonderful - a sense of "small city/large town" where you're not overwhelmed by the size and traffic, but is big enough to find enough places to go and things to do without repeating yourself within a week. We're at the tip of the iceberg at to entertainment possibilities, which after having to drive 45 minutes to simply go the library, a Walgreens, or a club is a feeling that words cannot express.

Contentment. Happiness. Potential. "Home". Actually, I suppose that words can express them.

...and yes, by "potential" I mean ones within the musical realm. It's only been three weeks, and I already have a few solid leads for musical experiences. With any luck, soon I'll be doing what I do best... making no money playing crappy clubs. ;-)

Shit or get off the Vicodin

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 07:37:09 GMT

Damn, I can't believe it's been so long between the last few posts. As before, things have been happening: mostly good, a little bad. I'm about to crash due to sleepiness, painkillers and the interaction between, but will do my best to explain and return to the LiveJournal world in some form tomorrow.

Umm, I promise? In the meantime, follow my lead:

If it's Tuesday, it must be home

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 00:37:47 GMT

A "friends?skip=600" command is never a good thing in terms of both amount of time as well as the usage of it, is it?

Needless to say, everything is fine: I was simply pretty beat physically after the MKB mini-roadtrip the weekend of the 10th and took a few days to physically recover from that, spent a few days in-between on a few projects (a set of mix-discs to introduce a friend to an artist's entire career, web stuff, a number of music-based things) and then a trip up to Cincinnati again for The 'Stache's graduation party and a routine Dr.'s appoint for troisbalances, in which I got to wait and gaze lovingly at various pieces of gear at the nearby Guitar Center, and the return trip home, wherein the cats gave us by all accounts the look of "you leave us alone twice in one week again and you lose body parts".

For the vast majority of posts I missed I won't be replying, because that would plainly be silly.... and I'd like to get up out of this chair before Halloween. Nevertheless, I will endeavor to read, or at least skim all the backdated posts. I need to live vicariously through you all. See, I'm already at -380 and that's while I've been catching up on e-mail and other items as well.

Don't even ask about getting to built-up comments in my LJ-specific e-mail account. My frontal lobe aches just considering it.

See you in Hell, Suckas!

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:15:36 GMT

...okay, you're not suckas - that would rude of me. I also won't see you in Hell (I personally don't believe in it, but if you think you're going to see me there? Hey, differen' strokes.) However, I'm about to take off for a "extended weekend/personal holiday/mini roadtrip" to see The Mike Keneally Band up in Columbus this evening and tomorrow night in Cincinnati. Yes, two nights in a row is delving into fandom, which is why troisbalances is sitting out the Cincinnati show (and I completely understand, as she likes them but it's not quite fully her *thing*) Myself, on the other hand? I would have gone up to Cleveland last night were it possible. ;-)

So I'm signing off for now, and any responses I haven't replied to will have to wait until Sunday evening, as I doubt I'll be getting online in-between driving, aching muscles, and other various show-related mishaps that typically occur. So be excellent to each other, no slap-fighting while I'm away, and someone feed the kitties while we're away? keever, I did indeed attempt to call - I'll try again when I return.

...and aleja? I'll be wearing the "Meritocracy" t-shirt tonight. If that phrase fits any band, it's this one. ;-)

Who am I to miss out on a music meme...

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:25:33 GMT

Reposted from prime_liquor:

Favorite Beatles song: "Dear Prudence"

Favorite solo song by a former Beatle: "Live And Let Die"

Favorite Rolling Stones song: "Love Is Strong"

Favorite Bob Dylan song: "Subterranean Homesick Blues"

Favorite Pixies song: "Where Is My Mind?"

Favorite Prince song: "Pussy Control"

Favorite Michael Jackson song: "Dirty Diana"

Favorite Metallica song: "Master of Puppets"

Favorite Public Enemy song: "911 as a Joke"

Favorite Depeche Mode song: "Policy of Truth"

Favorite Cure song: "End"

Favorite song that most of your friends haven't heard: "There Is No More Evil In This World" by Yogi

Favorite Beastie Boys song: "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)", if only for the appearance of a 20-year-old pre-MTV News Tabitha Soren

Favorite Police song: "Synchronicity II"

Favorite Sex Pistols song: "My Way"

Favorite song from a movie: NIN's "Closer (precursor)" over the opening credits of "Seven"

Favorite Blondie song: "Rapture"

Favorite Genesis song: "Turn It on Again"

Favorite Led Zeppelin song: "Moby Dick"

Favorite INXS song: "New Sensation"

Favorite Weird Al song: "Albuquerque"

Favorite Pink Floyd song: "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" ("Echos" edit)

Favorite cover song: Argyle Park's covering of Steve Taylor's "Drive, He Said"

Favorite dance song: I don't dance. Period.

Favorite U2 song: "The Ground Beneath Her Feet"

Favorite disco song: Chic's "Good Times", simply for the bassline

Favorite The Who song: "Boris The Spider"

Favorite Elton John song: "Someone Saved My Life Tonight"

Favorite Neil Young song: "Harvest Moon"

Favorite Clash song: "Rock the Casbah""

Favorite Ramones song: "Pet Cemetery"
Favorite David Bowie song: "I'm Afraid of Americans"

Favorite New Order song: "Blue Monday"

Favorite Nirvana song: "Come As You Are"

Favorite Snoop Dogg song: "Murder Was The Case"

Favorite Ice Cube song: "Natural Born Killaz"

Favorite Johnny Cash song: "Folsom Prison Blues"

Favorite R.E.M. song: ~~"Shiny Happy People"~~

Favorite Hank Williams, Sr. song: "Love Sick Blues"

Favorite Elvis song: "Don't Be Cruel"

Favorite cheesy-ass country song: "Dueling Banjos"

Favorite cheesy-ass '70s "story" song: "Alice's Restaurant" (the movie was '69 - close enough by my standards)

Favorite Tom Waits song: "Tommy The Cat"

Damn that jaxita and her red hair! ;-)

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 10:23:01 GMT

List your current six favorite songs, and then pick six other people that have to do the same (if they so choose). In alphabetical order:

Garbage: "Why Do Love Me" (Nope, it hasn't faded yet)

Moby: "New Dawn Fades" (Just... beautiful)

The Nerve: "Abducted*" (Wonderfully ironic during this period in time)

Nine Inch Nails: "Only" (Get funky, 80's/00's-style)

Joan Osborne: "Ladder" (Yes, I'm 10 years late on this one and kicking myself for it)
Yogi: You Fell (Droid Mix*)"

This

*full-length MP3 download available.

New friends who I'd like to see answers from: wh0rgasm, collieinthecity, ladylamia, ophelia_85, pandora54725, and vocalnick.

I'm about to attempt the (in)famous Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich... at 6:20 am from breakfast. Whatever you do or don't believe it, at the very least think a good thought for me... and my lower intestine.

Image Is Everything

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 08:46:10 GMT

Yoinked! from masikus, xanateria and poorheather:

What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?

Go to Google Images and search for that word.

Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results but don't tell me the word.

Use an image tag, i.e. < img src="url.of.the.image.goes.here" to post the picture in a comment.

If you so desire, put this in your own blog so that I can do the same.

Damn You, Pink Floyd!

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 00:35:45 GMT

Have you ever had one of these days? I think I'm having three of them at once, for no reason but that life feels like testing me.

...then again, the arrival of new gear always helps to soften that blow. :D

Note: this didn't post before I went out, and I'm happy to say the purchasing of bagels has also made a significant dent.

Blame katytowell, she wrote the code

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 07:29:22 GMT

How Skary is YOUR journal?

Personally, I think my journal is as skary as a burnt quesadilla (which, if you're hungry I'll grant can be quite off-putting, but still not reach a death-dealing implement) but who am I to argue with the intelligence that is the Internet. ;-)